'That was ok, mummy'

Catherine had a good morning this morning and was able to spend some time at nursery before we took her for her chemo this afternoon. Once again, Catherine was quite stressed by the thought, and had forgotten that using her portacath meant it would not hurt. Afterwards she said, 'that was ok actually, mummy'. She was very miserable before bed tonight but I imagine she is very tired. The Haematologist at the hospital told us that the steroids can cause sleeplessness which would explain why Catherine has been up a lot through the nights.

Tomorrow Catherine will have another General Anaesthetic and bone marrow test. This is the big one that will determine future treatment and will help the doctors with her overall prognosis. So far, God has answered all our prayers positively and Catherine has a very good prognosis. Tomorrow will tell us how well she is responding to chemotherapy (and how the great prayer support is working!).

A friend said today how everything in his life had been preparing him for his future ministry. This made me think again how God has been preparing me for this time with Catherine. I can't say I am impressed with this situation - far from it - but when I look back I can clearly see how God had been shaping and preparing me so that I would be able to deal with this situation in His strength.

I read a book a while back which said that ‘Sometimes, God has to pull all the carpets out from under our feet, because it is only when we are flat on our backs, with our self-sufficiency shattered, that we will at last begin to look upwards to Him’. I was particularly struck by this quote at the time, because a few years ago I was very ill and it was at this time that I became 'God-dependent' and not 'self-dependent'. I'm starting to wonder whether God didn't think I had learnt my lesson last time, but maybe that was just the foundation course and I've now progressed to advanced level! I think I preferred it when I was on the most basic level...

Thankyou for your ongoing prayers. We do feel very strengthened by God at this time and from the knowledge that so many people are wrestling in prayer for our daughter.