In the outside world

After being inside a ward on hospital for two weeks it was a mixed blessing to leave. Like other parents of children with leukaemia have told us, we both felt a bit like new parents taking a baby home for the first time - a new responsibility but not quite sure what we were doing. However, it was also great to be back out in the fresh air. Jimmy's hospital is brilliant, and the staff are excellent. They have really helped us get our heads around the technical side to Catherine's illness.

On the way home in the car, I started to think, which is never a good idea! I thought about the fact that, since Catherine was born I had tried to protect her from so many things. I remember getting over the six months after her birth, and having a mini celebration that the threat of cot death was over. I remember all the times I've made sure all the knives/medicines/cleaning products were out the way and all the plug sockets were covered. I remember the times I have paid extra attention when crossing the road with Catherine in her buggy, moreso than if it were me on my own. All those times when I have tried to keep her safe from harm. I had thought about the possibility of road accidents, meningitis, choking, food poisoning, fires and accidents at home but never in a million years had I thought Catherine might get childhood cancer. Something I couldn't have protected her from. Something I had never imagined. I know the diagnosis has happened, but sometimes I just can't believe it. It just doesn't make sense.

But I know God is still working despite all this and that He will bring us all through.