Not feeling well

I am sitting watching Catherine asleep on the sofa. She came home from nursery today not feeling too well, but she can't explain why, so I suggested she had a nap. She doesn't look quite her usual self and her moods are all over the place. She can't decide what to do and is crying a lot. Normally I would put this down to steroids but she only started them yesterday evening, so unless her body is reacting unusually strongly to them, I am concerned for her.

It makes me angry thinking that someone so young should be going through all this. I don't think anyone should have to go through this, let alone someone who should be at the prime of her life, bouncing around and generally causing mischief.

A couple of days ago we were in conversation with someone and mentioned that we were going to the hospital on Tuesday. We were asked why we were going and we said 'Oh it's only for some chemotherapy'. ONLY for some chemotherapy. Thinking back I find it so odd that we have become so 'normal' about Catherine's treatment that this is 'only' chemotherapy. Before Catherine's treatment, even the mention of the word chemotherapy would have made me sit up and listen. But now it is just part and parcel of life.

I think it is because we have made it normal so that Catherine can cope better with her treatment. On hospital days, Catherine is normally upset and doesn't want to go, but is always buoyed up when we tell her that 'It's only for some cold medicine and then you can go back to school'. I suppose it is a bit like telling a child who hates brushing her teeth that 'Its only for a minute and then you can have your bedtime story'. Bizarre really, but that's the way it goes.

Since Catherine's diagnosis we have seen so much that is more life-threatening than having chemotherapy. Obviously the illness itself is much more threatening, but we have also been exposed in our hospital visits to children with many types of tumour and infections that the chemotherapy just seems to be very simple in comparison. Even so, the treatment can still cause problems. So please do keep praying that Catherine does not have any side effects or infections. I am certain that prayer has got us through so far and will keep us going until treatment ends and for the years to come.