Not feeling well

I am sitting watching Catherine asleep on the sofa. She came home from nursery today not feeling too well, but she can't explain why, so I suggested she had a nap. She doesn't look quite her usual self and her moods are all over the place. She can't decide what to do and is crying a lot. Normally I would put this down to steroids but she only started them yesterday evening, so unless her body is reacting unusually strongly to them, I am concerned for her.

It makes me angry thinking that someone so young should be going through all this. I don't think anyone should have to go through this, let alone someone who should be at the prime of her life, bouncing around and generally causing mischief.

A couple of days ago we were in conversation with someone and mentioned that we were going to the hospital on Tuesday. We were asked why we were going and we said 'Oh it's only for some chemotherapy'. ONLY for some chemotherapy. Thinking back I find it so odd that we have become so 'normal' about Catherine's treatment that this is 'only' chemotherapy. Before Catherine's treatment, even the mention of the word chemotherapy would have made me sit up and listen. But now it is just part and parcel of life.

I think it is because we have made it normal so that Catherine can cope better with her treatment. On hospital days, Catherine is normally upset and doesn't want to go, but is always buoyed up when we tell her that 'It's only for some cold medicine and then you can go back to school'. I suppose it is a bit like telling a child who hates brushing her teeth that 'Its only for a minute and then you can have your bedtime story'. Bizarre really, but that's the way it goes.

Since Catherine's diagnosis we have seen so much that is more life-threatening than having chemotherapy. Obviously the illness itself is much more threatening, but we have also been exposed in our hospital visits to children with many types of tumour and infections that the chemotherapy just seems to be very simple in comparison. Even so, the treatment can still cause problems. So please do keep praying that Catherine does not have any side effects or infections. I am certain that prayer has got us through so far and will keep us going until treatment ends and for the years to come.

Cold medicine

Today we went to get Catherine her 'cold medicine' - it is called cold medicine by Catherine because it comes straight out of the fridge in a syringe before it goes into a central vein via her portacath. Today she didn't like it very much because there was a strange taste in her mouth as the Vincristine was being put in. Our specialist nurse told us that some of the older children do complain about a strange taste when they receive this chemo, although Catherine has never mentioned it before now! She is very tired this evening, and is sitting eating blueberries and raspberries whilst snuggled up under a blanket. I think her body is more effected by the chemotherapy drugs when she is otherwise very healthy, and she notices the tiredness more. She will also be on steroids for the next five days, so we will be buying more food! Looks like she'll be having an early night...

Hungry Caterpillar

Well, we have survived without the dreaded chicken pox! Thankfully, she has come through without catching it, so thankyou for your prayers.

She went back to nursery today and had a great time catching up with all her friends. She is doing well, has lots of thick short hair, plus lots of energy. She is also going through a huge growth spurt. I keep calling her the hungry caterpillar as she is eating constantly (without the influence of the steroids!). All day long for the past week she has been grazing on fruit and toast as well as her usual meals. She is also craving milk like it is going out of fashion, and has grown a centimetre in two weeks. I am amazed at how her body is starting to compensate for all the chemotherapy, and how quick she is growing again (the chemo stopped her growth for a short while). So now she will start to catch up with her friends again, which is good to see. Her muscle strength is also increasing day-by-day. She now walks to the park without having to be pushed in her buggy or carried, and she is enjoying climbing again. I love seeing her running around with her friends. I am just amazed at how her strength is coming back.

Tomorrow we need to go to the hospital and get some chemotherapy (Vincristine) for her, and next week we will be having another lumber puncture and general anaesthetic. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. Thankyou.

Happy day

Catherine had great fun today as she did her first marbling using inks. She made some lovely patterns and was so excited that she bounced up and down on the chair. We then had a nice lunch together before she came to the hairdressers with me. She loved watching me have my hair cut, and kept blowing on my fringe pretending to be a hairdryer. Catherine's hair is still very short but it seems to be getting thicker by the day. The hairdresser treated her to some free hair glitter because she was so well behaved and was so interested in the perm rollers and everything the hairdresser was doing. We had one interesting moment when a lady at the salon asked me whether I had got my daughter's hair cut 'that short'. I suppose it is unusual to have a little girl in such a pink dress with such short hair. It put me in a bit of an awkward situation, so all I said was that she lost her hair but that it was growing back. Catherine was with me and she didn't need a big reaction from someone that our little girl was having chemo. I just allowed the lady to put two-and-two together. She was very good about it and told Catherine that she looked like Sinead O'Connor. Tomorrow we plan to take Catherine to an art gallery to see some 'big paintings'. She is very excited because she hasn't seen any big paintings before.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Preparing for quarantine

Catherine is going into isolation from tomorrow from anyone who may have been in contact with chicken pox from the party last week, so we are preparing for quarantine. Her consultant has recommended that, because all of her nursery friends were in contact with chicken pox, and the majority have not had it, we need to keep her away from school when they are likely to become infectious. The good news is that she has neutrophils, so when she is off school it means she is not stuck indoors. She will be able to make little trips out, so I don't have to stress so much about how to entertain her with endless craft activities.

Catherine is quite looking forward to her 'holiday'. I haven't told her that her friends will most probably be in school because she will get upset, so holiday was the best way to explain it. Thankfully, one of her little friends has had chicken pox so she will be able to play with her in the days ahead. God gave me such a sociable child, which is fantastic but difficult for her when we have to do periods of isolation. We are going to try and make this a positive time for Catherine and to make it an opportunity for her to do some 'catch-up' on fun things that she missed out on during the more intensive treatments.

Yesterday Catherine told me about a dream she had. It sounded fantastic. She was a passenger in a rainbow-coloured space rocket, and she was very excited when she told me the dream. When she asked me what I had dreamt about, I decided to dodge the question by just saying my dream wasn't as nice as hers. How could I tell my child I had been dreaming about viruses.....?!? Rockets is a far better option.

Not sure what's going on

Catherine is not eating much at the moment and has been very grumpy today. This evening she fell asleep without watching her usual session of 'Charlie and Lola' before bed. Please keep praying for protection for her. Thankyou.