Grandparents and moving

We had a really good day yesterday visiting Catherine's Grandad. It always amazes me how she can go for ages without seeing her Grandparents but that she still has a special bond with them all. Her Grandpa is also visiting at the moment, but she found it very confusing that Nanny did not accompany Grandpa this time!

Having said that, Catherine is actually quite stressed at the moment. I thought I would have seen all Catherine's responses to stress through her treatment, but the 'moving house stress' is coming out much differently. She is getting a bit shouty and everything 'isn't fair'. So we keep having chats to talk through everything that is happening. I'm also giving her as much 'mum-time' as I can, because I find that this seems to help her. She knows that most of her friends will be leaving on Wednesday, and being a socialite (!), this is the bit that always hits hardest with Cath. During our summer placement, she spent most of it missing her friends! It is also weird for her seeing all her things packed up to take with us - she has spent half her life here and can only just remember moving the first time.

Anyway, she was a bit sick this morning so I'm going to keep an eye on her today. Her blood counts are good so she should be ok.

Latest hurdle with 14 months to go

Last night, Catherine asked her daddy why she had to have more medicines and bloods taken because she has had enough. She seems to be getting more distressed and fed up about having her bloods taken, and whatever we say, she just doesn't want to accept having to have all her treatment any more.

I can see why this might be happening now - we are moving a long way away from her friends and she will be starting a new school and hospital. Everything else is 'coming to and end' but her treatment hasn't also come to an end. It must be so frustrating and a bit confusing for her. Why should all this change, but why should she still have to be prodded with portacath needles and have her moods messed around with steroids? I think this seems to be what she is thinking. We keep explaining that her treatment stops her from becoming ill, but she is impatient now for the end of it. Only 14 months to go...

Please pray that she starts to feel more peaceful about things. She deals so well with everything, but it is still hard for her.

Sibling

Just a little post to say that Catherine will be having a brother or sister, due early next year.

Blood? No big deal

The weirdest thing happened to me the other day. I was watching a hospital programme briefly as I flicked through the channels and came across a scene showing an operation. I sat there gripped, watching the blood and gore. I didn't shy away. I didn't try and turn it over quickly. It all seemed so normal and natural.

I would NEVER have been able to watch a programme like this before Catherine's illness. I was always too squeamish - its why I never trained for the medical profession. And now I'm an officer in The Salvation Army, I've suddenly lost my fear for surgery, blood and hospitals. Surprising what a year in and out of hospital does for you...

Groceries and cupboard space

Catherine's immune system is low again, and we have been told to halve her chemotherapy drugs to allow her body the chance to recover a bit. She is borderline neutropenic, (neutropenia is where there is no immune system) so we are hoping her counts will recover quickly with all the risk of Swine Flu etc. It seems bizarre to me that we miraculously got through the Chicken Pox scare to then have to be thinking about Swine Flu, but the advice from the Hospital suggests that Chicken Pox had more risks associated with it than Swine Flu at present. However, please continue to pray that she doesn't have any viral or bacterial infections or side effects.

Looking around the kitchen today, I realised how annoyed I was at the number of grocery items sprawled across the work-top. The ketchup or salad cream often gets left out and I have only now realised how really irritating this has become. It never seemed to be a problem last year. And then I realized why. We had to relocate the grocery items so that we had shelving space in a high-up cupboard for all Catherine's chemotherapy and medicines.

It comes to something when you are moving house and hoping for more storage space for your chemotherapy, so that there's more room for the groceries!

For the parents

I have been told that some parents who have recently been informed that their child has leukaemia are reading this site. Just to say, you may want to read the earliest posts on this blog from last year, to reassure you that we also felt completely overturned by this diagnosis but that there is a way forward. If you would like to get in contact with us, please email Catherine's address catherineisgreat88@rocketmail.com. You are not alone. Catherine's mummy x

Feeling good and upbeat!

Catherine is doing really well, and since the last time I posted on here, she has enjoyed a camping weekend and a trip to the local swimming pool with her nursery. She is feeling good and is very upbeat about life. She is looking forward to going to 'big girl school' and doing some ballet lessons when we move. She has wanted to learn ballet ever since she was three-years-old, and we had started her on lessons, but her diagnosis changed things. It was during her first ballet lesson last year that I first thought something was not right, as she got very tired easily and complained of aching legs. Obviously she was poorly, but we didn't know at the time. So she is very excited that she will be able to start learning again and putting all her ballet outfits to good use!

It is hard to believe that next month it will be a year since her diagnosis. What a rollercoaster it has been! But it also been a year of miracles and answered prayer. Catherine still finds it odd that she is the only one of her friends with a portacath, and that she is the only one that has to keep having chemotherapy. The other night I told her that there are hundreds of children in the UK who are being treated for Leukaemia (naughty blood cells) and others who are being treated for other Cancers (naughty cells). This seemed to make her feel less unusual, and she settled down to sleep.

Catherine seemed to think that when we move house it will be the end of her treatment, but we had to explain to her that it will be next October before her treatment ends. We will still need daily chemotherapy, monthly intravenous chemo and steroids and a lumbar puncture and chemotherapy three times a year. But she is doing very well, and we are just so thankful for that.