Update

Catherine is doing well on her maintenance treatment although today she has been tired, headachy and has a bit of a sniffle. On Tuesday she will be at hospital for her Vincristine (chemotherapy) and blood test. Her hair is really growing now, although she is not impressed with it. It is very different from her original hair as it is now darker (before treatment she was dark blonde). So everytime anyone compliments her hair she gets quite sulky about it all. It's a shame really because I think she will look beautiful with darker hair as she has quite dark skin.

Catherine will be four at the beginning of April, and she is now getting excited. She loves birthdays and is a total party animal! I'm so pleased that the treatment has done nothing to dent her natural confidence and outgoing nature. We are looking forward to celebrating the big day with her, which is made more momentous by the success of her treatment. Thanks God!

Deep questions...

Today as part of training we had a talk from Emma, a survivor of cancer, a mum, wife and probably many other things too! It sounded so familiar as this young woman discussed things such as low immunity, neutrophils and various chemotherapy drugs. Emma's character reminded me so much of Catherine today - bubbly and outgoing - and some of the things she spoke about resonated with our own experiences. Thankyou, Emma, for being courageous enough to share your experiences with us.

The results of Catherine's blood tests came through today, and we were so pleased because her netrophils are high enough, and her immunity is good enough, for her to go on her 'school trip' to the zoo tomorrow. She is so excited. Tonight she prayed that it would not rain so they would all be able to go. We also bought her a T-Shirt with a monkey on it. Catherine is going to wear it tomorrow and has christened it her 'zoo T-Shirt'!

As we put her to bed this evening, she suddenly said 'Daddy, why did Jesus have to die?'. All I can say is that I am pleased she asked Mark - I was quite happy to leave the discussion about Jesus dying for our sins to him this evening.

Email:
catherineisgreat88@rocketmail.com

Catherine's dream

Catherine has wanted to learn ballet for ages. Some friends of ours kindly gave us some ballet clothes, and Catherine has hardly been out of them. Just before Catherine's diagnosis, we took her to her first ballet lesson. I found it odd at the time because she didn't want to go back after the first lesson because she felt tired. Now she is starting to get excited about ballet again and she has two ballet DVDs that she watches, dancing around in her new ballet clothes. Looks like we're going to have to find her some proper ballet lessons!

She is doing really well at the moment. She feels good and is still on track for the trip to the zoo tomorrow. She is having her blood test today but we expect her counts to be good despite her daily oral chemotherapy.

It went well!

Catherine's lumber puncture went well on Wednesday, and she recovered so quickly from the general anaesthetic that she asked to go to nursery in the afternoon!

Her hair is now becoming more prominent although it is a mixture of blonde and very dark brown! I'm not quite sure what she will make of it, particularly after wanting very blonde hair, but that remains to be seen.

She has had a good couple of days and is now starting to sleep better again, which is a relief to all concerned. If her blood results are good enough next week, there are plans to take her to the zoo. This will be very exciting for her, especially as she keeps talking about having an animal party for her birthday.

Mark and I have not been feeling too well this week, but hopefully things will pick up again next week and we will be back on form once more.

Hospital day!

Tomorrow Catherine is having general anaesthetic, a lumber puncture and chemotherapy. This means that from 3am she can no longer have anything to eat, and from 7am she cannot have any more fluids until after the procedure. Mark is now trying to persuade Catherine to eat a banana so that she is not famished in the morning!

Please pray that the procedure goes well and that she doesn't get too hungry while waiting (she has just refused the banana!).

Thankyou.

Today

My child had cancer.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking this, almost slightly shocked. It still seems quite unbelievable that my child, that little blonde thing full of energy and vitality, had a form of cancer. I can remember those early days when she was first diagnosed; the moment when David, the lovely nurse who I will always remember, came in and told us that 'it was bad news and we needed to leave Catherine with him and go to speak with the doctors'.

Catherine was asleep on the bed with her teddy and I remember looking at her and prayed 'O, Lord. Please be in this somewhere'. She looked so incredibly beautiful asleep and I remember feeling a sense of absolute horror at the idea of what we might be told. I remember Mark and I looking at eachother and taking eachother's hand before walking almost what seemed to me like an endless walk to the room where two doctors waited expectedly, looking pale and concerned, holding a huge folder. The tea tray and teapot were on the table.

Those moments will remain with me, somewhere deep inside. It is hard to describe the feelings that go through you when you first find out something of this nature. The disbelief; the shock; the sense that you are being plunged headlong into the unknown. But above all, this overwhelming sense of heartache: that news, for the first few days, broke my heart.

The reason I am writing this today is because I just had that thought again as I was wandering around my flat, 'My child had cancer'. It stops me in my tracks for a few seconds.

I just thank God that He was at work in this situation and that He is still working in her preventative treatment today.

Please continue to pray for our girl. I love her so much.

(By the way, the time on this blog is not correct. I was not up at 4am writing this, thankfully!)

Sleepless

Catherine is doing well on her maintenance treatment, and day by day is starting to be more her old self. Her sense of independence is coming back and as she feels better after the intensive block, she is starting to push the boundaries again! She has also had problems getting to sleep at night, mainly because she just doesn't feel tired enough. Someone suggested to me that when you become very anaemic, like Catherine has been, the heart muscle overcompensates. So if that is correct, now that Catherine is not anaemic, she has a powerful heart muscle, lots of oxygen rushing round her body and not enough muscle strength to run off the energy - that should be enough to keep her awake!

On Thursday we are going to hospital for another general anaesthetic and intrathecal chemotherapy to protect her central nervous system. Please pray that this goes smoothly as her last one was a bit concerning as they needed to try several times to get the needle in the right place for the lumber puncture.